Why Becoming Calm Is The Magic Key To Better Confidence

Restful Life
4 min read

Does this sound familiar? The dread of a looming presentation? First date jitters?

The social gathering where your voice gets lost in the crowd… When confidence takes a nosedive and is replaced by paralysing nervousness.

But what if there was a secret weapon? A key you could unlock to navigate these situations with grace and self-assuredness? Enter the power of calm.

Sure, self-help sections are overflowing with tips for building confidence. But often, these strategies focus on external factors.

Power poses, assertive communication, or crafting the “perfect” version of yourself. Yet, true confidence comes from a deeper wellspring: a sense of inner calm.

The Science Behind the Calm Confidence Connection

Woman with black hair with ferns over her face smiles softly with her eyes closed

It’s not just a woo-woo feeling. Becoming calm has a solid scientific basis for boosting confidence. So let’s talk about the the fascinating interplay between your physical and psychological states.

Physiology of Poise

Picture yourself in a stressful situation. Your heart starts racing, your palms get sweaty, and your breath quickens.

This is your body responding to a surge of cortisol, the stress hormone.

Cortisol isn’t just about physical discomfort. It can also cloud your judgment and make you feel less confident in your abilities.

Conversely, calm lowers cortisol levels and keeps you composed. Allowing you to project confidence with ease.

The Brain Benefits of Being Chill

Studies show that a calm mind activates the prefrontal cortex. This region handles higher-order thinking, decision-making, and self-regulation.

When you’re stressed out, this critical area gets sidelined.

But when you achieve a state of calm? The prefrontal cortex takes charge. This means you can approach challenges with a sense of control and confidence.

Psychology of Peace

Woman with light brown hair and eyes closed. Some of her hair is blowing across her face

The link between calm and confidence goes beyond physiology.

When you’re calm, you’re less likely to be hijacked by negative self-talk.

You can observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment. Helping you cultivate more self-love. This shift in perspective can also translate into greater confidence.

Furthermore, calmness fosters focus. A scattered, anxious mind struggles to concentrate on the task at hand.

But, in a state of calm, we can hone our attention, leading to a sense of mastery and accomplishment.

These small victories, in turn, reinforce our confidence in tackling future challenges.

Three Calming Techniques For Your Confidence Toolkit

So we’ve established the science behind calm confidence. Now let’s explore practical tools to cultivate this inner strength. Think of these techniques as your personal confidence kit. Ready to use whenever you need a boost.

1. Breathwork

This age-old practice is a powerful stress reliever for a reason. When you focus on slow, deep breaths, you activate the parasympathetic nervous system. This is the body’s relaxation response.

You can do breathwork anywhere, anytime. For example, extend your exhale for twice as long as your inhale for a quick response.

2. Meditones

Meditones are binaural beats combined with contemporary ambient music. Binaural beats are frequencies of sound combined to create a humming vibration.

Illustration of a person wearing headphones listening to Theta meditones at 4 Hz

When you listen to meditones with headphones, your brain generates calm brain waves. Like ones you produce during relaxation and restful sleep. You soothe your nervous system and become calm. Without having to do a thing.

Plus, long-term use helps you form stronger relaxed neural pathways. Making it easier to become and stay calm.

3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)

PMR is a technique that involves tensing and relaxing different muscle groups in your body.

This is particularly good if you struggle with interoception. This is the sense that helps you understand your internal bodily sensations. Like tension, stress or tiredness.

As you let go of physical tension, you also release mental stress. Creating a profound sense of relaxation and calm.

Calm Confidence for Neurodivergents

Two people playing with fidget spinners

Let’s face it. The world can be an overwhelming place for those of us who are neurodivergent.

Conditions like ADHD, autism, OCD and c-PTSD can make unfamiliar environments very stressful. Social situations, with complex social cues and unspoken rules, can be particularly anxiety-provoking.

These challenges can significantly impact confidence and self-esteem.

But, the calming techniques mentioned above can be particularly helpful for neurodivergent people.

For example, using meditones can help calm sensory overload. A common challenge for neurodivergents.

Breathwork can be a quick and effective way to manage anxiety in social situations.

And PMR can help you become more aware of your body. Which can help you manage overwhelming sensory inputs and regain a sense of control.

By incorporating these tools into your daily routine, you can build a foundation of calm. And this can translate into greater confidence when tackling life’s social and sensory challenges.

Building Calm Confidence Through Practice

Happy woman with long black hair and a white t-shirt with hands behind her head

Building a calm and confident self doesn’t happen overnight. It takes dedicated practice, just like any other skill. Here’s how to get started:

Start Small:

Begin by incorporating calming techniques into your daily routine during low-pressure situations. Practice breathwork in your room. Try progressive muscle relaxation before bed. Or use meditones to have restful sleep.

As you become more comfortable, you can use these tools in more challenging scenarios. Like listening to meditones to reduce overwhelm while on public transport.

Celebrate Small Wins: 

Building confidence is a journey, not a destination. Acknowledge and celebrate even the tiniest victories. Maybe you managed to stay calm during a stressful conversation with a colleague. Perhaps you successfully used breathwork to navigate a social gathering without feeling overwhelmed.

Recognizing these small wins reinforces your progress. Plus motivates you to keep building your calm confidence.

Be Kind to Yourself: 

The path to confidence isn’t always smooth. There will be setbacks and moments where stress throws you off balance. Remind yourself of your progress, and recommit to practising your calming techniques.


Becoming a more confident person is often focused on external strategies. Power poses, assertive communication, and meticulously crafted personas. While these tactics can have their place, true confidence comes from within.

By becoming calm, you tap into a wellspring of inner strength and self-assuredness.

Remember, being calm isn’t about becoming emotionless. It’s about learning to manage your emotions effectively.

When you can approach challenges with a cool head and a focused mind? You unlock your full potential to navigate life’s situations with grace.

So, take a deep breath, tap into your calming techniques, and embrace your inner confidence.

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